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Have people stopped pretending the 80s was an enviable fashion decade? |
Have people stopped wearing Crocs? |
Have people stopped saying "Threw me under the bus?" |
East Coasters: How is it so far? |
@mulegirl I write my best songs in the shower. It's hell on my guitars, though. |
My meds for neck/headache causing dizziness and blurry vision "may cause headache, dizziness and blurry vision." Treating w/cookies instead. |
To clarify: it's usually the sound of @youngamerican cackling at something ridiculous @jordan_morris has said that inspires said spitting. |
Only downside of listening to "Jordan, Jesse, Go!" on headphones at work is the effort it requires to avoid doing spit-takes on my monitor. |
@sh I thought it was "Gaylord." Turns out: "Georg." |
@hshellen and I are MST3K-ing "The Sound of Music." If that means nothing to you, ignore this. |
@johnroderick All they would do was a 20-percent-off coupon for something called "The Indiscriminate Sorority Sister Pant." |
@johnroderick "Pushover" is playing in the Gap. Did they ask permission?Because I could speak to a manager. |
Drunk Grandpa is your new bicycle. |
Mom was surprised at (and disappointed with) my beard. Same beard I had when I saw her 10 days ago. |
@NameCheap Why, that'd be in Jingle Bell Square, NJ. Lovely this time of year. |
A one-act play:
@bodyvisual: What day is Christmas?
@shellen: It falls on the 25th this year.
THE END |
Man, I better cram in a lot of text messaging while driving this week. #OnlyFunnyInCaliforniaOrPerhapsNotFunnyAtAll |
When your boss hands you two bottles of Black Maple Hill premium small batch bourbon, you don't ask questions. You start damaging livers. |
The trouble with my interior design studio specializing in kid-designed window coverings is "child drapists" sounds awful over the phone. |
@youngamerican Great news! Now I can finally listen to TSOYA at a fixed time, instead of at my leisure! (But seriously, congrats.) |
